All of Me

Yesterday was a fantastic birthday.  Not what I expected at all for my birthday, but fantastic none the less.  Sarah seemed to be a completely different baby yesterday.  Definitely in a good way! She was alert and responsive to our voices and sounds.  They took her off the ventilator and she was doing excellently without it.  She only has the nasal cannula right now that is helping her lungs to not deflate entirely between breaths.  It's the reason her mouth is a little more bubbly than normal.  Just lots of oxygen in her system!

They are also giving her a low dose of caffeine to help stimulate growth and strengthening key muscles.  I have a feeling that's part of why she was so alert yesterday - she had her morning coffee already!

She also was able to meet her Great-Grandmama Nally and Great-Grandmama Burris for the first time yesterday.  Jim's grandmothers had a vacation planned starting this week, so they just altered their course and made their way to Tennessee instead of Missouri.  We were so glad to see them for a little bit.  It was definitely special getting to see their reactions to just how tiny Sarah is.  We look forward to introducing her to others in the days and weeks ahead as family and friends are able to come.  She loves meeting new people!

It's been definitely hard to leave her bedside each day, but yesterday was extra hard.  Before she was just asleep and didn't really know we were there.  But today she was looking straight at us and seemed to recognize us.  She would close her eyes and immediately try to open them again so she didn't miss anything. I hate the thought of her looking around and seeing the plain walls or a stranger...

I know that's she's in a wonderful place that will take care of her in our absence, and that I need to continue to focus on getting stronger.  While I've definitely improved and am more mobile than I was, I'm still pretty weak and in a lot of physical pain from the surgery.  A lot of my swelling has already subsided and I've lost over 15lbs (most of it water weight!) from the last time I weighed myself before delivery.  I'm able to wear my wedding rings again and when my feet stop feeling so bruised from the swelling, I might be able to fit back into regular shoes!  Right now flip flops are about all that work on my swollen feet.

Our song today was sent to me from one of my dear college friends.  It certainly hit the spot this morning as I was thinking about little Sarah and how much I want to be there and how much I would do to make her well and stable.  Thank you, Kristen!