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Showing posts from January, 2012

Let Faith Arise

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This whole pregnancy thing has been a giant test of faith.  Do I trust that there is a creator who perfectly knit me together?  Do I trust that that same Creator can knit perfectly my own child and protect it?  Yes, and yes.  Though it's not always easy. I've had moments of panic.  Moments of joy.  Moments of great stress.  Moments of excitement. As Jim and I were driving to church on Sunday, this song was the last to play in the car before we got out, and then it was the same song that was all through the worship service from beginning to end.  It was definitely a song that I apparently needed to hear. We had our 2nd doctor's appointment today and it was more frustrating than anything.  Didn't get to see our little peanut, which I think is total torture... How do they expect you to only have TWO ultrasounds?  We won't get to see him/her until we find out if it's a him/her on March 13.  He/she was also not in the right place for us to hear their heart beat

Meet Me By The Water

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For those of you that have seen the movie, Bella , you may be familiar with this song selection.   I have been itching to watch that movie lately, but haven't let myself just yet.  It's a beautiful film about healing and restoration and the joy that the life of a child can bring.  It makes me cry and yearn for a child of my own.  The last scene of the movie I always think of how I will play with my child(ren) like that.  This song has always for some reason, been a song that I associate with my long rooted desire to have a child, though not all the words really apply to that. I wasn't really open about this back in March, but we lost a baby early in 2011.  It was one of the most difficult things I have ever been through.  A morning that was supposed to be filled with joy and laughter quickly turned into one of the most traumatic days of my life.  Instead of telling me my baby was healthy, as everyone expects at their first appointment, I was told that it was ectopic and d