This is a long post.  It's been a long 24 hours or so... I just walked in from literally being at the hospital ALL day, with a short break at lunch to grab lunch with a good friend, and a quick blitz into the mall to grab a few items that I've been desperately needing.  The nursing staff made fun of me because I was out and about before lunchtime... haha.... :P  Usually my mornings are devoted to working from home and a few house tasks around lunchtime.  Today was a different story though after last night. Last night I went back for our evening feeding.  Jim wasn't feeling great and decided to get some rest at home for the feeding.  They had told me earlier in the day that she had a few "spells" of DSAT-ing and turning blue.  (Basically, her body wasn't getting enough oxygen)  Thankfully I hadn't ever seen one of these spells.  Last night that changed though.  She started setting off the monitor like normal, but this time her color s...

Last night was excellent.  We tried our hand at nursing again, and Sarah ate HALF her dinner all by herself.  16mls was eaten, and she took 17mls through her tube.  I was very impressed!  She was awake, responsive, and actively nursing for 30 minutes.  They only stopped her because they didn't want her to wear herself out too much and also didn't want to get her off her feeding schedule too badly.  Yay for small (or big, depending on perspective) victories! Today, we've had a decent day.  Church this morning was great as always.  I'm really enjoying starting to get to know more people and feeling even more part of the family. Our feeding session this afternoon was a little rough, though.  She fought me the entire way.  She was obviously frustrated - I'm not sure if it was that she didn't understand what I wanted her to do, or if she just wasn't hungry yet.  I also think she might have been uncomfortable.  Her little body fe...

Well today was exciting!!  We're holding steady at 3lbs 14oz again today.  We had a few family members come again to see little Sarah.  Jim and I went in first to check on her and I needed to pump before everyone got too settled in.  As we walked in the nurse told us the exciting news that Sarah was in CLOTHES!  And that they had turned down her heat in the isolette and they weren't having to use the temperature probe on her at all. She was doing incredibly well with her outfit on and seemed quite happy being bundled up.  We are so proud of our little girl making this step.  It was so funny, because just yesterday I was thinking to myself that she was probably getting close to the clothing stage, and that I should probably take an outfit or two with me.  The nurse yesterday said that it would still be a while before we could try clothes but...  this morning today's nurse took a peek in a bag I had by the bedside that had a sleeper right on ...

Well... Here's a more concrete update for everyone!  The last two days she was holding steady at 3lbs 13oz and today we're up to 3lbs 14oz!  So proud of her weight gain!  We've been nursing for a whole week now!  Yay!  We did take a break from breast feeding and tried out a bottle on Wednesday and Thursday.  Wednesday we ate about 10mls on our own and Thursday, Daddy fed her and she got about 5mls.  She keeps tuckering out on us, but we're still trying!  Today we got the word that we're allowed to feed her TWICE a day now...  That means more evening and late night visits, as it's typically best to spread them out enough so that she can sleep and regain enough energy to try again in the same day.  I think we'll try breast feeding once a day and a bottle the other time to get her used to both and to let Daddy be able to bond with her as well.  The bottle is also a little easier for her tiny mouth to work with. I have been searching ...

This is going to be a long one... And not so much concrete updates - just musings and thoughts that God is placing on my heart in this season.  You've been warned.  :) Many times throughout my life I have hit these "desert" moments.  The seasons of life where I question where God is and why He would bring me to this place.  There are also moments when clarity is given and received gratefully.  I have been in one of these moments for a while now, and it seems now that we're starting to come out of it, and it's so refreshing.  This is not to say that I now understand fully the trials we are currently going through, but to say that He is giving me glimpses of the things that need to be cleared from my life and Jim's life to be more fully reliant on Him. Last night I had several good reasons to not go to church, but I just felt like I really needed to be there.  I am so glad I fought through the headache and discomfort I was in, because it was definite...

Well, well... It's officially been 4 weeks since little Sarah joined the world.  (Well I guess it will officially be 4 weeks at 11:53 pm tonight.)  Hard to believe that we're already 4 weeks into this NICU journey.  In some ways it has literally flown by and in other ways I feel like it's been FOREVER.  The nurses all joke that they're going to put me on the payroll since we've made ourselves at home so much.  Moving chairs around, able to know what beeps mean what, know all the right buttons to push...  We're getting to be pros.  Maybe I have a calling...  Then again... Probably not. Sarah is doing well!  We're excited that as of yesterday she was 3lbs 12oz!  That's up a full pound from her birth weight.  The nurse thought it might be another "fluke", but today she gained some more grams and is holding steady at the 3lbs 12oz weight!  We had another nursing session today, but I don't know exactly how much she ate.  Acco...

We had an excellent weekend.  Spent some time at the hospital with Sarah, spent some extended time with our good friends Andrew and Courtney.  There was some conversation of getting "back to normal".  We all laughed and realized life would never be what we considered "normal" anymore, and that we were now in a new state of "normal."  How so very true.  I have gotten used to the rhythm of hospital trips, working from home, cleaning and organizing around the house.   I still haven't quite gotten in the rhythm of cooking and feeding Jim and myself yet.  Leftovers have dwindled and we're back to running out and grabbing a pizza.  I think I'm going to make a grocery trip today and see what I come back with.  We're getting there.  However, I take hope in the thought that this version of "normal" shouldn't last very long - though, the even newer normal that's coming is starting to be scarier than anything.  It's just so...