Awakening
This is going to be a long one... And not so much concrete updates - just musings and thoughts that God is placing on my heart in this season. You've been warned. :)
Many times throughout my life I have hit these "desert" moments. The seasons of life where I question where God is and why He would bring me to this place. There are also moments when clarity is given and received gratefully. I have been in one of these moments for a while now, and it seems now that we're starting to come out of it, and it's so refreshing. This is not to say that I now understand fully the trials we are currently going through, but to say that He is giving me glimpses of the things that need to be cleared from my life and Jim's life to be more fully reliant on Him.
Last night I had several good reasons to not go to church, but I just felt like I really needed to be there. I am so glad I fought through the headache and discomfort I was in, because it was definitely worth it. Jim helps in the youth group and so I went to youth last night. Pastor Jonathan delivered a message based on John 6:44-69 about how Jesus told everyone that was near Him that the only way to the Father is through eating His flesh and drinking His blood. It sounds like crazy talk, and a lot of people, because they didn't understand it, walked away. Jonathan's challenge for us was that in those moments where God doesn't make sense and what He's saying to do or saying to give up doesn't make sense... will we too walk away? When we fail, what are we leaning on? Is it God, who never fails? Or is it something in and of ourselves? What is God trying to show us that we need to lose in order to rely more fully on Him?
I ask myself why God would allow this to happen, and I'm starting to see glimmers of His plan of provision through it. Why would He cause a situation that would literally drain us of our last bit of savings? Because we need to rely more fully on Him. Why would He put me through this period of having to work from home and stretch myself professionally? Because He's going to open up doors for me to walk through. Why did we go through this season of me and Jim being somewhat separated in the evenings and weekends? To break our co-dependancy a little bit and allow both of us to grow in our discipline levels and maturity levels.
I must say that in some ways, everything I wanted out of life is coming to be. The road that it's taking is not the one I thought we'd be on. It's been harder than I would like it to be. But even in the midst of not fully understanding, I am so grateful to get a glimpse of the beauty that God is bringing about in our lives through these seasons.
For You and You aloneAwake my soulAwake my soul and sing
Many times throughout my life I have hit these "desert" moments. The seasons of life where I question where God is and why He would bring me to this place. There are also moments when clarity is given and received gratefully. I have been in one of these moments for a while now, and it seems now that we're starting to come out of it, and it's so refreshing. This is not to say that I now understand fully the trials we are currently going through, but to say that He is giving me glimpses of the things that need to be cleared from my life and Jim's life to be more fully reliant on Him.
Last night I had several good reasons to not go to church, but I just felt like I really needed to be there. I am so glad I fought through the headache and discomfort I was in, because it was definitely worth it. Jim helps in the youth group and so I went to youth last night. Pastor Jonathan delivered a message based on John 6:44-69 about how Jesus told everyone that was near Him that the only way to the Father is through eating His flesh and drinking His blood. It sounds like crazy talk, and a lot of people, because they didn't understand it, walked away. Jonathan's challenge for us was that in those moments where God doesn't make sense and what He's saying to do or saying to give up doesn't make sense... will we too walk away? When we fail, what are we leaning on? Is it God, who never fails? Or is it something in and of ourselves? What is God trying to show us that we need to lose in order to rely more fully on Him?
I ask myself why God would allow this to happen, and I'm starting to see glimmers of His plan of provision through it. Why would He cause a situation that would literally drain us of our last bit of savings? Because we need to rely more fully on Him. Why would He put me through this period of having to work from home and stretch myself professionally? Because He's going to open up doors for me to walk through. Why did we go through this season of me and Jim being somewhat separated in the evenings and weekends? To break our co-dependancy a little bit and allow both of us to grow in our discipline levels and maturity levels.
I must say that in some ways, everything I wanted out of life is coming to be. The road that it's taking is not the one I thought we'd be on. It's been harder than I would like it to be. But even in the midst of not fully understanding, I am so grateful to get a glimpse of the beauty that God is bringing about in our lives through these seasons.
I love you She. God knew that even through it would be hard, that you and Jim would be able to handle the hiccups that life throws at us and be able to come through the other side stronger and more reliant on Him. Know that even though I am not there, you are always on my mind.
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